Tooth Brushing

I recently went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned. He told me that I have some slight receding of the gums, probably due to an incorrect tooth brushing technique. Apparently, I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.

I should be using a very gentle up/down circular motion, with NO “sawing back and forth,” as he put it. It’s true, I have been sawing. So he says it is not a big deal yet, just to be sure to brush using the method he described.

It is SO HARD!

Trying to re-train myself do do something that comes so automatically, and that I’ve been doing for so long. Even when I am really thinking about it, the next thing I know I’ve tuned out and am sawing away.

I think I might have to start brushing with my left hand. Since it feels weird and foreign and wrong anyway, maybe it will be easier to unlearn my bad habit.

So friends, if there are more toothpaste spots on the bathroom mirror that usual when you visit me, you will know why.

I hate google today!!!

Finally, I was going to post some more drawings, but waht – what’s that google? You have decided to screw the subscribers to picasa web albums and force them to sign up for google plus in order to access their own photos that they’ve already uploaded to picasa? And I have to check “I understand the changes to picasa” even though you haven’t explained them anywhere? Oh, and then even when I decide to give up and check all your little boxes and agree to you shitty privace policy and allow you to use my location (which I totally do NOT want to do), I still can’t upload images off my iPad unless I download the google + app. FUCK you! I am so mad right now. I guess that company motto “Don’t be evil” is ironic now. I just want to scream and cry and break something.

I know, for a person who keeps a blog with pretty personal stuff on it sometimes that is seems counter intuitive, but I don’t really want the whole world to see my photos and know where they were taken. And I especially don’t want to be forced to join their ersatz social networking bullshit just to keep on using a service I’ve been using for years.

I already give you enough, google! You already have more personal information about me than my mother, from blood type to hat size, and I refuse to let you have my face, too. I REFUSE! (That’s right, it has a handy “auto face recognition” feature).

Here’s a tip for you google: if you want people to use google +, make it better! Don’t coerce all of your current users into signing up, just do they can keep using those nice programs and services that you bought and took over, just so you can make your numbers look better.

I know 1984 is here and I should give up any notion I have about internet and privacy, but I still somehow thought google was my friend. I like gmail, and I love google drive, but dammit, I don’t like social networking sites, and I damn sure don’t want my entire life’s worth of photos connected to one. I think some compartmentalization in a persons life is a good thing.

And maybe I will capitulate, because it is easier than downloading all of those photos, saving them onto my computer, and uploading them all back to some other web album, but I will NOT be happy about it!

Finally, don’t nobody come in here commenting about how there is some work-around or how it shouldn’t work this way blah blah. I am talking about what just happened to me today, and I don’t care to do any research before I rant. I am sick with impotent fury, like I got cut off in traffic, or I got home from a store and realized I didn’t get the sale price on something that I only bought in the first place because it was on sale, but it is too late to do anything productive about it. In other words, like I got screwed, life is not fair, etc., etc. Maybe in a few more days I’ll have calmed down enough to give this another look. For now, this rant is all I have.  Otherwise I’d have to go and break dishes or something, but then I’d just have to clean it all up.

Day 24

Day 24 is a couple.  I think they probably meant a romantically-linked pair of human persons, but I didn’t go that way with it.  I thought about drawing Joseph and Snake, because they were sitting on the couch together like a couple of pals.  Instead, I joined them on the couch and drew my feet.  I thought it would be a fun drawing challenge, and I like the image of them as a couple.

In Alexander McCall Smith’s No. 1 Ladies Detective agency series, one of the characters imagines that her shoes talk to her, calling her boss (as in “you lead the way boss”) and I just love that.  Ever since I have started reading those books, I think I have anthropomorphized my feet a little bit.  Sometimes, I apologize to them when I put on uncomfortable shoes, and sometimes I curse them (one toe in particular) due to some toenail problems.

Presented without further commentary, my couple (of feet).

Day 24: A Couple – my feet

Day 23

Something you need.  Need is a word that I always have a hard time with.  I mean, all of my real needs are already met.  So, something I want in such a bad way that I need it…

I have this pair of shoes that I really love, and they are so far beyond worn out that I really can’t wear them anymore and yet I can’t bring myself to part with them.  Actually, I have (and have had) many pairs of shoes that meet that description.  Most of them were/are birkenstocks.  This particular pair are dark red leather t-strap mary janes with a wedge heel (just a nice maybe 3-4″ wedge that is nearly flat under the toe, and not a giant 5″ rise with an extra 2″ inch platform under the toe that every wedge heel seems to have right now).  I think they were Kenneth Cole, but they are so worn out that the logo is gone.  The inside of the shoe is peeling and flaking in such a way that it feels really gross to wear them.  Every time I do, part of the inside of the shoe sticks to my foot and comes off with me when I take them off.  It is really gross, and I really should throw them away.  I know this.

So what I really need is a new pair of shoes just like them.  Apparently they aren’t even in style anymore, since I can’t seem to find anything remotely similar for sale anywhere, but I don’t care.  I am not ready to give up these shoes, and yet I really can’t keep wearing them.    Rock, hard place, etc.

Day 23: Something you need – a pair of replacement shoes!

 

Day 22

Day 22 is “Something you miss.”  Like so many things, I’ve only truly grown to appreciate nap time now that I don’t have it anymore. Or maybe I’m just sleepy right now.

Day 22: Something you Miss – Naptime

But wouldn’t it be cool if every day after lunch, we go to close our office doors, roll out a mat and a pillow (and a blankie), and nap for an hour?

(First time I’ve used the pencil tool in Procreate, and I think it looks pretty good.  It even has a finger smudge tool to soften the lines.)

Day 20

The theme for today is “something orange” and the first thing I thought of is a Honda Element.  Mostly, probably, because someone I am close to drives one (drove, I guess, because she recently got a new car and now her husband drives it).  But also mostly because to me, the Honda Element IS orange.  A lot of cars have a specific color to me.  I think it because while they will all come in your basic white, black, red, beige, maroon, grey, etc, some models will have a specific color that seems to belong only to that type of car.  Honda Elements are orange, the Kia Soul is that light alien green color, the new Ford Feista is bright lime green, a PT Cruiser is in its element in Eggplant, VW Bugs are pale yellow, etc.

Day 20: Something Orange – A Honda Element!

Anyone else have this type of color association with cars?

Day 19

The theme for Day 19 is “Something new.”  Initially, I was stumped.  The only new thing I’ve bought lately, besides groceries, is a lawn mower.  We had to have it, because the wheels literally fell off our old one, but I am not exactly excited about it. Plus, it wouldn’t make a very fun drawing.  Joseph suggested I draw our giant stack of New Yorker magazines (seriously, once a week is way too often for that much reading material – I can’t keep up!), with the newest one on top.

Then, lo and behold, out of the blue a good friend gave me a just-because gift, and now I am the proud owner of some new flamingo-themed tumblers!  Such a thoughtful gift, because I love barware and flamingos.  She also gave me a pack of matching napkins.  Now I can’t wait to have some friends over for cocktails.  What drink would fit best in these glasses?  Gin & tonic, mojito, or maybe an amaretto sour?  10 am on a Saturday is a little early, but who wants a drink?

Day 19: Something new

Day 18

Just a doodle.

But you know what, it is really hard to “doodle” on purpose.  Also, I am apparently a child, because I was tempted to draw a “doggie doodle,” but then I couldn’t bring myself to draw poo.  I also kept thinking of google doodles, and was tempted to draw my own one of those, but then that just seemed sad.  Like when a classic rock song is used in a commercial, and afterward when you hear the song on the radio it makes you think of chevrolet or cialis or golden grahams or whatever, and it kind of ruins the song for you.

Fortunately, I received a phone call while I was mulling it over, and that sufficiently distracted me to come up with a pretty authentic un-self-conscious “I am going to show this to people so it really is an intentional drawing and not just a doodle” doodle.

Day 18: Just a doodle

When I am bored, I draw circles.

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 17

Day 17 is favorite plant.  I’m afraid I can’t get more specific than “tree.”

When I think about plants that I like, I basically think of plants that I like to eat.  Apples, peaches, tomatoes and peppers, zucchini, onions, garlic, avocados, lettuces, even olives.  Carbs too! Potatoes, rice, wheat,  oats, etc.  Even popcorn comes from a plant at some abstract point!

But if I try to move beyond my first, most basic instinct, and think about plants I like out in nature and enjoy actually living with, I’ve gotta go with trees.  There are others – like flowers that come from bulbs (of which daffodils are my absolute favorite) that I adore and that really do just blow my mind.  Plants are amazing, really.  The closest I get to a spiritual experience is watching a plant just shoot up out of the ground and become this complex and beautiful thing.

When I was a kid I practically lived in a tree, and in fact wished I could actually do so.  I had a elaborate scheme to build my own live-in-able tree house when I grew up.  If I ever grow up, it is still a pretty good goal (though I think I’ll scrap the roof top pool and the pool table).  My friends and I even made a model out of paper towel roll tubes and other scraps.  I remember vividly the excitement I felt when I thought of using tiny candy “mini-jawbreakers” as pool balls, the desire to do which is probably the only reason I thought we needed a pool table in the first place.  But I digress.

Day 17: Favorite Plant – trees!

Among trees, my favorites are pecan trees, and of course giant red woods.  Aside from the obvious (hello FREE pecans), I love pecan trees because their leaves grow in the most beautiful pattern.  Each little branch sprouts 5 small twigs of leaves from one central point, and it creates a sort of starburst pattern that is intriguing and lovely. My least favorite are live oak trees, for the profusion of tiny sharp acorns they drop, and the way they grow so thick and dense that it seems like no light passes through, unless you count all of the trees that I hate because I am highly allergic to them.  I try not to hold that against the trees though, because my body is the one with the problem, not the trees.

Not the greatest representation of the pattern the leaves make, but the best one I could find with a quick google.

Avoidance

Is this something that other people do?  Avoid, procrastinate, barter with yourself, etc. Maybe I have no self control – either way.  I am no good at making myself do things I don’t want to do but feel as if I “should” (going to the gym) nor can I prevent myself from doing things I want to do but aren’t probably very good for me (sure, I’ll have another beer).

The particular point in question today is my Day 16 drawing for the 30 Day Drawing Challenge.  The category for today is “Inspiration.”  My apologies to whoever came up with this list, but LAME.  Maybe other people are routinely inspired, or have some lasting inspiration that carries them through life.  I don’t.  I don’t even have any sort of standard inspirational fodder for my art work.  I generally make work that is about memories and perception, but each piece has its own thoughts and imagery and ideas behind it.  Even those, I would be loathe to call “inspiration.”

Am I especially un-inspired?  Or maybe it is that the word had been over used and had been watered down and feels meaningless to me.  It sounds like the name of a model of cell phone, a feminine hygiene product, or maybe a scent for deodorant or the name of a running shoe.  None of those things inspire me, but they are the images my brain conjures when I think of the word.

So now I’m sitting around trying to lie to myself and/or somehow let/force myself to forget the drawing challenge, so I won’t have to confront the idea of “inspiration.”

And it is ridiculous.  I’m avoiding looking at the piece of paper with the prompts listed like my paper was due today and I skipped class.  I’ve checked my email three times, read all the way through my twitter feed (which is rare), cleaned my desk with a clorox wipe, filed EVERYthing in my office, thought about making a snack, played Bejeweled on my phone for 5 minutes, updated my calendar with dates I probably don’t even need to know, let alone remember, browsed through some other blogs, used chap-stick three different times, hand lotion twice (“cocoa radiant” scent, in case you were wondering), cleaned underneath my fingernails, and gone to the bathroom twice, even though I don’t even really need to go.  All to avoid a task that *I actually enjoy* because I don’t want to have to confront the idea of “inspiration.”

And I don’t have a point here.  I guess is should add “blog about it” to my list of avoidance activities.   Or draw a comic of the process of avoiding drawing a word.

As sure as I am that some others behave in this infuriating and slightly pathetic way, and am sure that there are others that don’t.  How do those people who just do what they need to do, and don’t do what they shouldn’t do live?  I can’t even fathom.  Think of all the extra time they must have on their hands.

Maybe I can pretend this is my Day 16 drawing, but I’m just drawing you a mental image with my words.  This would be an example of my irrational mental bargaining.  More examples: If I only have 10 minutes left in the work day, it is too late to get started on a new project.  Since there’s only 10 minutes left until there will only be 10 minutes left, I might was well stop now.  If I can make myself go on the 18-20 mile “Tuesday” ride tonight, even though it is muggy and gross outside, maybe I can order pizza for dinner instead of cooking. Joseph would probably rather go eat at IHOP (he’s been agitating for that lately), but we can’t go there because I just bought a pack of bacon at the grocery store and we can’t eat bacon and eggs for dinner twice in whatever amount of time it takes for bacon to go bad…

This is a glimpse into the very unhappy place that is my head, sometimes.  The good news is, I’ve now killed enough time that I can’t possibly start on the drawing today, until after I go home, go on the bike ride, and cook bacon and eggs for dinner!  At which point, I might as well wait until tomorrow, right?